Some of you have read the stories of my seafaring adventures for years.

Some of you have not and have recently expressed dismay at having missed all the fun.

Some of you may have hot single lady friends who are looking for a chubby balding sailor who writes silly blogs.

This is for all of you. But mainly the ones with hot female friends.

As you are reading this, you know my name is Russell and I am a sailor. The blog is named PiratePooh because I like Winnie the Pooh. The reasons for liking Pooh are too numerous to go into at this point, but suffice to say that I think a life that centers around hunny, naps, hanging out with your friends and keeping things low-stress is a life that I want to lead.

If you haven’t been around for years, you may not know what to expect from a sailor blog. So you know what you are getting into:

Do not expect political commentaries, pro or anti religious rants, financial advice, stories about my kids (I don’t have any), fearful ramblings about the Mayans (not too concerned) or reviews of any sort of reality based TV (I don’t get it.)

Do expect stories of life at sea, stupidity at sea, danger at sea, stupidity in foreign ports, bar fights in 3rd world countries, original dirty rhymes and songs, the secret to six-pack abs in 30 days or your money back, love letters about food, denials of events that allegedly happened but you have no video evidence of so as far as this blog is concerned they happened to somebody else, adventures in various red light districts, tales of valor (these are lies), tales of ineptitude (these are unfortunately true), tales of loneliness and tales of sorrow.

Basically, you can expect stories of shipboard life in the merchant marines and tales of my travels around the world. If you have never been on a ship you may find our lifestyle interesting. If you are one of my fellow sailors, you may find some common ground with me.

If you don’t already know from reading my many past blogs (you had to be on an email list to get those), although I have lived through the events that I write about, I write FICTION. I exaggerate and sometimes make stuff up in order to make a story funny. These are make believe stories that come from real life situations. Like what happens in the White House. So please, if you are a fellow sailor do not throw me overboard the next time you see me on a ship.

These stories are for entertainment purposes only. Any sexual activity that occurs is a decision made by two consenting adults. If you have a gambling problem, stay the fuck out of casinos. Do not attempt this at home. Any resemblance to people real or fictional is a figment of your screwed up imagination, or maybe you are drunk.

Stay tuned for the first blog – “Welcome to Venezuela! I’m being charged with what?!?!”

Thanks for visiting.